Take a moment to think about your best friend.
Think about all the qualities that your best friend has that makes them so great.
It’s great to have someone in your life that is always there for you, gives you unconditional support, offers a shoulder to lean on and you can have fun with.
Now, I bet that the people thinking of themselves when thinking of their best friend are to be counted on 1 hand.
When we think of the truly great people in our lives we do not tend to think of ourselves.
Yet, we live with ourselves 24/7. There is no part of the day where you can switch yourself off and live without yourself for a while. For that reason alone it is so important to fill yourself with all the qualities you like to see a best friend.
Most of us are living with a self that is often critical, talking negative, unaccepting of our own behaviour. Imagine having a friend like that, would you like to hang out with that friend this often? Probably not, you would probably seek out someone else and have a good whine about this person’s behaviour and question if you should keep them in your life.
Why accept this behaviour from yourself then? Shouldn’t you, of all people, give yourself support, loving kindness and fun?
For me a loving relationship with yourself really starts with being able to have fun with yourself. I am saying ‘having fun with yourself’, not ‘making fun of yourself’.
Having fun with yourself is the ability to be by yourself and do the things that you love to do, just because you love doing them. Be it singing out loud in the most off key way that is humanly possible (a personal favourite of mine, sometimes I actually forget to turn off my silly voice when singing), or running in the garden without purpose and arms flapping to your sides. Anything that makes you think ‘I am the funniest person on this planet’.
Another big part is self-acceptance. Especially for women, we are so used being told how we should look, behave, what we should like, and dislike. We expect ourselves to be able to be great entertainers, mothers, employees, friends and partners, all while looking flawless and without a hair out of place. We expect ourselves to be able to take on the world without a flaw, because this is how the ‘ideal woman’ is portrayed.
We need to accept the fact that we are human. Everyone has limits and so do you, there is no need to criticize yourself for your limits, as this is never going to remove them.
There is no need to criticize yourself for finding your hand in the cookie jar. There is no need to criticize when your mascara smudges. There is no need to criticize yourself when you forget your umbrella. There is no need to criticize yourself when you do not make a deadline. There is no need to criticize yourself when you feel tired and not up for anything. There is no need to criticize yourself for wearing uncomfortable shoes, or comfortable ones for that matter.
Not at one point in your life do you have to criticize yourself. There simply isn’t a need for it.
You are who you are and you are living life to the best of your abilities.
Not at one point do you get up in the morning thinking, ‘today I am going to make all bad decisions that are going to bring really bad things into my life so that I can then beat myself up over them, because that is what I really like to do’. If I am wrong and this is the way you are leading your life, fair enough, I am afraid it will not bring you much happiness.
So, just for now, take a mindful moment. Sit with your hands on your heart, close your eyes and imagine yourself in a pink bubble of light and love.
Imagine yourself being filled with love, a warm comfortable blanket of love and self-compassion, a great big hug of your higher self. Allow yourself to sit in this wonderful energy for as long as you please, knowing that this is a place you may always return to, it is always there for you, 24/7.
Love, love, love.