So many people say they ‘just want to be happy.’ However, when it comes down to what they think will make them happy, they find it very hard to answer this.
I have only recently discovered the answer to what will make me happy. What I have discovered is that what will make me happy is not something external. I have come to the fantastic conclusion that I already am happy. Having made this discovery makes me feel grateful to the universe for allowing me to discover happiness.
I am sure you are wondering what I mean with ‘I am already happy.’ Does it mean that I always happy? No.
This blog isn’t about how to always be happy. I personally do not believe there is a person in this world that is always happy. Things happen, life happens, and being the beings that we are, we respond to that.
For me being a happy person means that no matter what comes at you in life, you have the ability to see happy things regardless. This enables us to get passed life’s little upsets and live a life that feels free. My life feels free because when things happen that upset me, I allow myself to feel upset, and then I look in the other direction and am able to enjoy a beautiful sunset.
I would love to tell you at what point in my life I gained the ability to see the silver lining in most everything in my life. To be honest, I cannot. Like many innate sensitive people I have gone through life for many years, wondering where I would fit in. I have gone through periods where I felt very alone, and have even battled a short stint of depression related to PTSD.
Somewhere along the line I discovered that I cannot allow my happiness to depend on things external to me. I believe it was this realization that first brought about a massive change in me. Happiness is not related to the colours of your wall, it is not related to the size of your trousers, it is not related to number of zero’s in your bank balance, and it is not even related to the person sitting next to you. ‘If only this changed in my life, then I would be happy,’ is not the sign pointing towards destination happiness. It is a joke-sign that pretends to lead to happiness, but really only leads you on a treasure hunt of ecstatic moments.
Answer this question, hands on your heart: ‘I am happy because…’
Try to name at least 5 things that make you happy and focus on the feeling in your heart space when you think of the things that genuinely make you feel happiness.
I tend to do this exercise when I notice that my mind is wanting to wander off into creating horrendous things that could happen in the future. Not only is it a great mindfulness exercise, it actually makes me feel good.
Much later in my life I realized something else, something equally important. If there is something in your life that is making me unhappy, I am allowed to let go of it, no matter what it is. In the end I have the power to decide what I do and do not want in my life, it is my life, it’s my gift, and I can do with it whatever I want.
I am not telling you that you should quit your job, leave your partner, move house and country. What I am telling you is that you always have the option to quit your job, leave your partner, move house and country. That choice is yours. You choose your life.
I know there are things in life that we cannot change, believe me, I know. Things happen in life. Situations occur with other people that might not have a positive mind set. Circumstances surround us that might not feel ‘fair.’ Absolutely, it’s all part of this magical journey called ‘life.’
We might not change these circumstances, but we can change our attitude towards them.
You can speak badly about me all day long, you can tell the whole world lies about me, but there is something you cannot do: control how I think and feel about life. If I decide to be happy in life and fill my life with positivity, there is nothing anyone can do about it. They can try, believe me, certain people will try, but when you have decided that for your sake, you want to be happy, you become untouchable. No external being can reach into your mind and yank out your positive thoughts and affirmations. Sometimes it can feel that they can, but in the end it is something that we control and allow. Personally I make a stance against anyone who tries.
That is a big one. It might be the biggest thing about a happy life yet. Working with awareness that your mind set is untouchable. For me, this is why leading a happy and content life equals freedom.
If you want to find out what happiness means to you a great way to start working with this is to keep a happiness journal for a minimum of 21 days. Every day write down what made you happy and why. If you had more than 1 things making you happy, great, elaborate as much as possible. You might find that as you go along you find more and more things that make you happy, some big and some small. After 21 days read what you wrote each day and see how your happiness journey got started and how you have grown from there.
Believe me, once you start working with a happy mind set, your life will improve in ways you would not imagine possible.